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Let’s hope the parents are helpful, not hotheads. If they have been, it might be necessary to get the parents involved to make sure this contagion is contained. If the photos have not been forwarded, everyone can simply delete them. Your daughter should talk to the boys with whom she’s shared photos and explain the trouble the nude shots could cause for all of them. (Anticipating such juvenile idiocy is the reason the Founding Fathers declared the president has to be 35 years old-although as we know all too well, this doesn’t always solve the problem.) She suggests you make sure your daughter understands these digital images can be used against her at any time and she must take action to get them removed. From her interviews with teens involved in sexting, Bazelon says the girls often explained they sent a photo because the boys asked for it as a sign of trust. For more advice, I turned to my Slate colleague, Emily Bazelon, author of the forthcoming book Sticks and Stones, which is about all forms of bullying. But even if prosecutors never get a peek at your daughter’s pictures, she needs to know that sending nude photos of herself can be a life-changer.
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Fortunately, it’s very rare for sexting to go this far-here’s a good summary of the legal issues. The cops are called, arrests are made, and the good news is that kids involved avoided becoming registered sex offenders for possession and distribution of child pornography. To summarize: girl sends nude photo of self to boy, boy forwards to another girl, and within hours it’s blasted across the entire school district. It will make you want to gather up all the phones involved, smash them, douse them with acid, then bury them in the New Jersey Pine Barrens. Read this sexting horror story and then show it to your daughter. You need to sit her down, tell her what you saw, and discuss what to do next. What do I do?įorget being coy-your daughter certainly isn’t. If she were in a serious relationship, I could understand her having sex, but it’s the sending of pictures that really has me bothered.
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These boys have sent pictures of their junk, too. But even worse, I don’t want her to feel the shame of the entire world knowing if one of these boys decides to be an ass. Should I pretend I never saw it but somehow subtly offer some advice about the dangers of sexting? I don’t want her to feel the shame of knowing I know. It turns out my daughter is sexting with a couple of boys, sending naked pictures of herself over her phone. When I discovered it, I texted her with it, saying I had her phone.* Then a few texts caught my eye, and I snooped. This morning I dropped her off for band camp and she accidentally left her phone in the car. She does well in school and she doesn’t get into trouble. I have a beautiful, awesome 17-year-old daughter. The chat will resume Tuesday after Labor Day, Sept. There will be no live chat next week, as Emily Yoffe is on vacation. Got a burning question for Prudie? She’s online at to chat with readers each Monday at noon. Please send your questions for publication to (Questions may be edited.) Get Dear Prudence delivered to your inbox each week click here to sign up.